Click here to purchase a copy of Ein Self
Ein Self: Early Meditations is my first book. It consists of personal essays, divrei Torah, translations, and original poetry that I have produced during the first year and a few months of my transition so far. Subjects in the book range from gender to sexuality to Jewish rituals to Transgender Day of Remembrance to autism and love.
The book’s title is a play on the phrase Ein Sof, a Kabbalistic name for the Divine: “endless”. It is also a title of one of the essays in the book. This reflects a dual theme: firstly, that my transition is not something I feel I will ever “complete” or “be done with”, but something that I will be carrying with me for the rest of my life, and secondly, that a crucial component of transition for me has been seeking out the ineffably beautiful qualities of my own existence, the ein sof of myself—my ein self.
Praise for Ein Self:
“Jewish tradition teaches that the universe is spoken-into-being every day and that we, made in God’s image, have the capacity to create worlds with our speech. Surely no one knows this better than Emily Aviva Kapor, who in this collection of poetry and prose speaks her deepest self into being. If you have ever yearned, ever been on the outside looking in, ever taken the heart-wrenching risk of revealing yourself, you will recognize those experiences in Emily’s words. Tremble with her in her suffering; exult with her in her transformation. ‘Thresholds are made to be crossed,’ Emily writes. These essays and poems mark and sanctify that space of transition, a mezuzah on the doorposts of a life.”
~Rabbi Rachel Barenblat, author of Waiting to Unfold (Phoenicia 2013) and 70 Faces (Phoenicia 2011)
You can also get a copy of Ein Self printed right before your eyes from any Espresso Book Machine near you Eighteen is chai in Hebrew, which means “life”, and the proceeds from the sale of the book will help to fund my ongoing medical care needs. Or you can buy it directly from the Print On Demand desk at Powell’s Books in Portland, Oregon—they’ll ship pretty much anywhere. Tell them I sent you.